As we sat in her dark car talking over coffee, I couldn't help but remember all the other times we sat and talked, sometimes coming up with our crazy inside jokes that we still laugh about over a year later and sometimes in the dark confessing the darker things that have happened over the years. We talked tonight about those darker things and the battle we both sometimes have to fight. She told me of what she wrote me in her suicide note and how she just wanted to end the fighting. She told me of the days after and the choices she was forced to make. She let me in. She broke down a wall. We both wiped tears from our eyes.
This past National Suicide Prevention Week, To Write Love on Her Arms sold a t-shirt, bracelet, and pamphlet pack, and I got one in memory of my little brother. I've worn the bracelet every day since in his memory. It's white and in big orange letters it boldly states “YOU CANNOT BE REPLACED”. At some point in the middle of the conversion I handed it to her. I realized she needed that reminder far more than I did.