Wednesday, April 24, 2013

An Open Letter to the Warren Family

This is an open letter to Rick Warren and family or anyone else who has lost someone to suicide or just lost someone. My little brother committed suicide almost 5.5 years ago, and when I heard about Matthew Warren I thought about what I wished someone had told me.

Dear Pastor Warren and family,

Let me start this by saying how very sorry I am for your loss, and my heart goes out to you. I know the road you are walking down is a hard one. There are no words that I can say to ease your pain, even though I've walked down this road, every one greaves differently and what helped me won't necessarily work for you. I could quote Bible verses, but I literally wanted to punch everyone who did that in the face. I could tell you that God was angry at you and that is why this happen, but that would be a lie. God isn't angry - He is mourning with you. I wish I could take away the pain or had "5 Easy Step to Healing" but I can't and I don't. I guess you would be wondering what's the point of this letter… see all I can so is tell you what I wished someone had told me.

1) It's not your fault. There was nothing you could have said or done to change the out come. No phone call or I love you, it was totally out of your control.

2) You are not alone. You don't have to battle this by yourself. Find someone to listen and talk, or go to the movies. We aren't meant to be alone and there are people who will hold your hand as you go through this, and those friends are worth more than gold.

3) It will get better. I'm not saying that the pain will be gone, but it will be easier.

4) It's okay to be angry. Yell at God if you need too, He can take it. ;)

5) You will find joy in the mourning. It may take time but joy will come back and it will be different.

6) Good will come out of this. I know it's hard to see it right now but one day you will. God can turn anything in to good, and I mean ANYTHING.

7) "It's okay to not be okay, but it's not okay to stay that way." Those are words that I was told this past year and they helped me so much. It meant that pain mattered and I was allowed to feel it. It also meant that I could get through this, and that I could over come it. Life is about moving forward after all.

8) Look for God. I've found that if I look for God, matter how bad the tragedy is, I will find Him. It's times when I don't see God, I realize that I am not looking for Him.

That's all I have.

Keeping y'all close in my prayers,

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