How can I put into words everything that's happened the last month? How can I even start to talk about how much I have changed? I'm not the person I was a few weeks ago and a few weeks ago I wasn't the person I was when I left Georgia... I mean I still love sweet tea and a good hockey game (can the lock out end already?) but I don't recognize the girl the drove 5 days in a Passat with a dog across 12 states to get a small school that most people hadn't even heard of, let alone knew anything about it.
I've had to sit back and rethink some of the things I had grew up believing or was taught in Sunday School... it hasn't been easy to sit in a class and shift through all the things I've believed the last 26 years of my life and then to be like "I don't think that's true or right..." and then go home a dig through the Bible to find some truth in what to believe. I've been tweaked to the point of wanting to punch someone on the face (I don't think I've ever felt so violent towards a pastor before) and pissed of to the point where I had no clue what I was feeling. It's been good though... I've discovered things I didn't know I could and asked some pretty big questions in the process.
I've also dug through some pretty big lies in my life... I won't go into all of the dirty details here... but I've learned a lot about not going through life alone. I've always tended to keep people at an arms length... especially the last few years after Noah died. Something amazingly wonderful happened on his birthday this year. I won't share the long story but the jest is - my roommates, a couple of friends and I released balloons on the beach after writing Noah letters. I was blown away by the fact that they wanted to write letters with me and that they cared so much, because I cared. They gathered around me and made sure I had a great day, and I did. I've learned a lot about not self isolating myself.
I'm settling in more here and it's starting to feel like home, even though I still miss home, I'm not homesick like I was when I first got here. I'm falling in love with the area and the people here. I'm so blown away by how my church family and School of Supernatural family back home come together and blessed my socks off yesterday. I can't put into words how much it means to me or even began to say thank you. I love them and miss the so much. I can't wait to see them in person to hug and thank them.
Well, I'm at the laundromat and my clothes are almost dry so I need to get going - good news, we'll be getting wifi at the townhouse soon, so I'll be able to update more often. Until then, be blessed, and know I love y'all.
I've had to sit back and rethink some of the things I had grew up believing or was taught in Sunday School... it hasn't been easy to sit in a class and shift through all the things I've believed the last 26 years of my life and then to be like "I don't think that's true or right..." and then go home a dig through the Bible to find some truth in what to believe. I've been tweaked to the point of wanting to punch someone on the face (I don't think I've ever felt so violent towards a pastor before) and pissed of to the point where I had no clue what I was feeling. It's been good though... I've discovered things I didn't know I could and asked some pretty big questions in the process.
I've also dug through some pretty big lies in my life... I won't go into all of the dirty details here... but I've learned a lot about not going through life alone. I've always tended to keep people at an arms length... especially the last few years after Noah died. Something amazingly wonderful happened on his birthday this year. I won't share the long story but the jest is - my roommates, a couple of friends and I released balloons on the beach after writing Noah letters. I was blown away by the fact that they wanted to write letters with me and that they cared so much, because I cared. They gathered around me and made sure I had a great day, and I did. I've learned a lot about not self isolating myself.
I'm settling in more here and it's starting to feel like home, even though I still miss home, I'm not homesick like I was when I first got here. I'm falling in love with the area and the people here. I'm so blown away by how my church family and School of Supernatural family back home come together and blessed my socks off yesterday. I can't put into words how much it means to me or even began to say thank you. I love them and miss the so much. I can't wait to see them in person to hug and thank them.
Well, I'm at the laundromat and my clothes are almost dry so I need to get going - good news, we'll be getting wifi at the townhouse soon, so I'll be able to update more often. Until then, be blessed, and know I love y'all.
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