Friday, March 06, 2009

New roof, new dating rules, and the art of worship.

So right now I have a freaking out dog locked in my room while I sit in the living room feeling today's awesome breeze, listening to the roofers pound, and smelling the paint fumes from where the roofers fixed the ceiling while I type this. We've needed a new roof for a while now and never had the money to get it fix but due to all the wind and hail we've had lately the insurance is paying for it! Despite the fact the wind and hail hasn't been great it has given us what we needed to get the roof fixed! Praise God! I love how it's worked out in the end even if it means I'm stuck inside on this amazing day. It's hard to believe that less than a week ago it was snowing and today is in the mid 60s to 70s, I guess that it is just Georgia weather for ya!

So I was telling my friend out this boy, let's call him Bob (no that's not his real name, silly!), that I've been texting... before you jump to conclusions I knew him in high school and he found me on MySpace of all places. Long story short we exchanged messages, then emails, then numbers and now we text messages. I've yet to talk to Bob on the phone and I'm not sure if that will even happened seeing as he now lives on the other side of the US. Anyways, I was talking to a friend about Bob and she told me of the "new dating rule" where for every two times a boy texts or calls you send him one text or call him once... so say day one he sends you a text and you go back and forth and then days two he calls, then day three he texts you first, then you are allowed on day four to text him first. Yeah, I didn't get that either. The whole this is lost on me. I hate dating - I have to shave my legs even though the guy will probably never know, I have to put on a little make-up and dress up, fix my hair, make sure my eyebrows aren't taking over my face and act "like a lady", and for what? Dinner with an awkward conversation, and a movie where all I worry about how to a get out of awkward hand holding and worry about what to do if the guy try's at some point to kiss me, uh, no thank you. I'd much rather hang out at a coffee house with a group of people and not care what I look like and act like my normal crazy self.

I mean I am single for a reason and it's because I hate the whole dating thing. Don't get me wrong, I still have moments where I think to myself how I can't wait to find "the one" and dream of falling in love, after all I am a girl to the core. There are times where I wish I had a boyfriend and I do get sad thinking how most of my friends have either gone off and gotten married starting families or found themselves the person they believe is the one while I haven't. I have faith that the one is out there, I pray for him all the time and I can't wait for the day that I meet him! I want to get to know him without going through the whole fakeness that goes with dating around. I'm not into courting so I really don't know where that leaves me on the whole dating issue but I have time to figure all that out. :)

Now that my thoughts on dating is out of the way that brings me to the Art of Worship, now I've spent the better part of the year kinda losing myself and not knowing how to worship. I spent a lot of it not knowing how to pray. In fact I felt like I had lost who I was. I mean I was always Christina but I felt like a stranger in my own body. I lost a lot and in all the losing I lost myself too. However, little by little the past few months I find myself slowing coming back. I'm not the same but I'm no longer feeling like a stranger. This past Sunday I really and truly able to worship with all my heart for the first time in over year! It was so sweet just to let go an worship the amazing God I have. It got me to think about the Art of Worship and how there's no 10-step way to worship . Everyone worships in their own way. Sometimes it's hard and all there is to say is "God, I am broken and all I can do is sit here at Your feet." I know because that's how it's been for me the past year but God is good and He's pulling me through it even though there was a time where I felt like He had left me and I almost gave up. I'm slowly learning the art of worshiping the God that has saved me and it's so sweet.

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