Sunday, December 23, 2007

No one reads this anyway...

Which I guess is why I'm posting it here. My little brother passed away a week ago. I'm tired of people asking how I am.... I mean I am thankful for the concern but at the same time I just want to be 'how the hell do you think I am?' it's just hard to answer fifty times a day, you know? I know that what I am going through is a touchy subject where no one knows what to say but I'm tired of people thinking they need to try to protect me... yes, I'm hurting right now but it drives me crazy when people think they have to treat me different now, you don't. And another thing it's not wrong that I don't want to celebrate Christmas, I feel there is a time to rejoice and a time to mourn and right now is a time to mourn. I understand that it's Jesus' birthday but Jesus' real birthday is really in the late summer... you can see where I am going with this. I'm not trying to ruin Christmas for anyone, you can do your thing and I hope you have a great Christmas, I just feel like I need this time of mourning so I can move on. New Year's is a different story, I feel like I need the new start... there's so much promise in the New Year... kinda like a new start with hope. This year I'm going to make a list of things I hope to do in 2008, and I'm going to try and complete them all.... Here's the list thus far...

1) Sky dive (It's something I've always wanted to do)
2) Go on a road trip by my self (Just me and the road and maybe a map to help me...)
3) Start and finish a Bible study (I'm good at the start part but at the finish part...)
4) Go out dancing
5) Make a point to see the mountains this fall when the leaves start to change
6) Laugh more

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