Thursday, December 25, 2008

What gives you hope?

A friend asked me not to long ago 'what gives you hope?' See they where baffled with how I have hope after the bleak year that I have had... I can't say that I blame them, after all my brother died, my best friend and I had a falling out and now we aren't speaking, I totaled my car, and I lost my job. I'll admit that I have had some dark moments this past year but I still have hope and I have never lost my hope. I do have moments of doubt but who doesn't? All the things that have happened this year have happened for a reason and while I don't understand the reasons right now, I have hope that I will know in the future when the time is right.

Bottom line my hope comes from God, I know, I know that sounds so cheesy with a side of cheese but it's true. I find hope in the leaves changing colors with the promise of fall and in the leaves and flowers budding in the spring with the promise of new life, and God controls that. I see hope in the faces and laughs of children because they are so carefree and they carry the promise of the future and yet again God is behind that. I see hope all around me, even though sometimes I forget to look.

Not to say there have been times this year when my hope has run thin and I have felt like giving up, at my lowest point this year I was on my face sobbing telling God how angry I was at Him and that was okay, it is a part of healing. I have just found when I needed hope the most God sent something to give me some, anything from a phone call to a sunset to a hug from a child to a friend to listen to me. I could keep listing the things that God has sent me but we would be here all night. It's just I've learned that when I need something God sends it my way.

I have lived a life of no hope and I refuse to go there again, because that is not the life we are called to live. I don't have all the answers but I do know God is with me and when I am at my weakest He is at His strongest. God won't put us in the middle of something and leave, He promised never to leave or forsake us and He still stands by that promise. I have had a hard time praying and worshiping this year but slowly it's coming back and it's better than ever. See, even though this year has been hard, I have learned things and grown in ways I never thought would be possible, and guess what? That also gives me hope.

1 comment:

Jessica said...

You are awesome!