Wednesday, October 05, 2005

Blue Like Jazz

It's one of those books that you hear a lot about and you put off reading because it can't live up to all the great things you've heard about... then you break down and read it. I'm chapter 15 or 16 and I really like it. It's one of those books that you read where you go "Thank God I'm not the only one that feels that way." I've been struggling a lot with the things I was taught as a child... not really doubts but questions. I'm not saying that this book is full of answers but the things I've been questioning where brought up. Sometime knowing that there are others who struggle with the same things really help.

I've chosen to take a year off of school just to find myself. With everything that went on last year I lost sight of who I am and when I realized that it scared me. I'm not used to having doubts or not knowing where I am heading. I always have a goal in mind or some clue of what I want... and right now I don't. Everyone keeps telling me to find out what makes me happy or what do I find joy in and go with that. Easier said than done. I can list off the things I don't like or the things I don't find joy in but that isn't much help. Maybe by knowing what I don't want I can find what I do want. I just have this fear of failing. I want to prove people wrong... to show them I can be somebody and I'm not a screw up.

1 comment:

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